Years and years ago I had to move back in with my mom (I know...loser) in her apartment. Anyway, we had some pretty cool neighbors and one night they threw a party.

Badass... I’m there

So anyway, we’re all up, drinking...including my mom...having a good ol’ time...and it starts getting late (and we’re all getting drunk) and I head off to bed. So I’m just getting ready to pass out and I hear...

AAAHHHHHH!!! and a smoke detector siren! WTF!!??

So I stumble out of bed and haul ass to see what’s happening. I look in my bathroom and I see my mom..beating at a TOWER of flames in my shower with a towel! Let me really make sure you understand...my bathtub was ON FIRE. The shower curtain was ON FIRE. The Shower walls were ON FIRE.

WTF!!??

So I watch for a second as my mom is trying to put on this fire with a towel...then I run in there, push mom outta the way and do what any sane person would do...

I turn on the BUILT IN fire retardant system...mean I turned the fucking shower on. Wow, imagine that...it put the fire out! It’s amazing how much more effective WATER is to extinguishing a fire then a friggin TOWEL is!

Crazy. I know.

So after the fires out...and I’m looking over the BLACKED walls and melted shower curtain..I ask, “WTF HAPPENED???”

She comes back with (half sobbing and in shock I think), “Well I was going to the bathroom, and I looked over and there was a roach.”

And just ends it...like oh THAT explains it!

“And what?! The roach fucking spontaneously combust??”

LOL I know...I’m an ass

“No. I got a piece of toilet paper, lit it on fire and threw it on the roach!”

LOL

Now, I use to use some alcohol-based cleaner in my shower...never really think that there would be a flammablity issue there, of all places. I guess I was wrong, cuz that flame hit that alcohol and LIT that place up.

LOL.

Little side note:
am I the only one that sees the issue with my mom’s perfered extermination method? You see a roach..and you try to BURN IT TO DEATH?? Surely some other standard methods would have worked. You know. The FOOT. Or maybe some ROACH SPRAY? Rolled up Newspaper even? Oh no. we’re not here to just kill it...but it must PAY too LOL