So i was driving home after work one day...going the scenic route, just enjoying the day...and turn on this two lane road right next to a strip mall...well this two lane road changes into one lane and then back to two later...

anyways. as soon as i get to the part where it goes to one lane (I'm going about 40) this little, piece of shit car, pulls RIGHT out of the strip mall in front of me..causing me to LOCK UP the brakes!
oh shit!
This little heap, having just avoided being creamed by me...now takes to going a good 15 mph UNDER the speed limit! $^#%&$^*&$^#% not only that...but it's swerving all over the road! WTF?!

So as soon as it gets to two lanes..i change lanes and fly up beside this crap car. my intention, of course, is to give this fucker the finger and mouth a few choice swear words at em.

so i look over....and it's this big fat bitch just molesting a double dip ice cream cone. Got one of her big hams on the wheel...the other is just shoving this cone down her gullet!

oh....ok.

So i speed up and get in front of her....just kinda pacing along for a while...watching her in my rear view mirror. i wait until she bring that cone up to her face again and...i jam on the brakes!! oh shit!! LOL she locks them up and plants that ice cream cone RIGHT BETWEEN HER EYES!!

GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!!