You know, this is a messed up holiday if you think about it. What did she do to deserve the extra gifts a year? Have unprotected sex? get knocked up? now, 30 years later i gotta fork out some cash for it?

outstanding.

"Hey, good job getting knocked up...here's some flowers!"

In reality..all were really doing is congratulating her for getting laid. "WTG mom for being a horn-dog!"

when i think about it...i should be the one getting the gift! hell, i'm the one that swam faster and further then the rest! i should get a prize for being the winner of the race!

I never understood why Mother's day was a bigger deal then father's day. i mean, we should be thankful that ol' pops when the extra yard to get mom drunk that night! cuz i got a whole crap load of brothers and sisters stuck on a sock somewhere..i could have been one of them!

hey...thanks for not dropping me on a towel dad! here's a tie!"

LOL i'm kidding...i love my mom!