Some of my friends came to Dallas from Houston for a pool tournement. i told em they could crash at my house. well, the drinks started to flow and everyone started having a good time, hanging out in my living room....and this one nasty, drunken, older, bitch (i mean older like 45ish) who is sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, busts out with THIS classic:

"hey! did yall know i use to be a stripper??"

uhhh...can't say that i did.

"yeah! i can still do all the 'STRIPPER MOVES!' Wanna see??"

NO. we DON'T

before anyone can say anything....she grabs her HOOF...jams it behind her MELON....and starts SLAPPING HER COOTER right in the middle of my living room...

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

the whole house went dead silent for about 10 seconds...she's siting there with her hoof behind her head looking at us...everyone is looking at her....

...and one dude in the back drops a weak...

"wwwoooooo"

and i say, "put your fugging foot down bitch and don't EVER do that again"